The Bizarre and Little-known Fate of Seven Relatives of Famous People
1. Rhonda Custer, older sister of George. Fell down the stairs while removing her late brother’s furniture and was killed by Custer’s last hat stand.
2. Debbie Pankhurst, great aunt of Emmaline. Applying emancipation techniques later refined by her great niece, she chained herself to Jack the Ripper.
3. Raeline Nightingale, cousin of Florence. Accompanying her sister to the Crimea War, she drowned while swimming in the Black Sea. Briefly famous as “The Lady with the Cramp.’
4. Greg Antoinette, entrepreneur cousin of Marie. Believing his cousin was on to a winning idea, he set up a cake stall outside the Bastile and was killed rather horribly.
5. Sheila Nostradamus, daughter of the seer. She had a premonition of an earthquake and dashed from the house into the street. Unfortunately, she did not foresee the horse and cart galloping past.
6. Kylie Newton, Isaac’s sister. Killed while taking notes for her brother under a coconut palm.
7. Karen Revere, Paul’s mother. She was executed for treason after mishearing the Revolutionary orders and riding through the sheets yelling, “the British have plumbing!”
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